I Couldn't Possibly View My Profile 1,683 Times!

That's why I wanted to thank all of you folks who simply have nothing to do one day and decided to hit my humble (hehehe) blogger. But I also wanted to credit other more dedicated readers of my crap. I never knew one year of writing nonsense about my life could be such an accomplishment. Even though I was a member since March of 2004, it took me a while to realize I should get a life in order to get something to rant about (an entry about my one night at Outback Steakhouse just doesn't cut it, although, transferring my entries from my written journal was an option). Here are some of the things I've learned from blogging (we should always have this, makes you repeat your mistakes all over again and makes you realize that we are after all human):

1 - It pays to read, read, read. Make it your appetite, may it be a stripper club ad leaflet, travel brochure, Marvel comics (sorry I just look at drawings), EW (also prounounced as EiyW), tricky fine prints or that small rectangular objects called books (thanks "NeverEnding Story"). Plus that otherworldly resources collectively termed 'the internet', there's no excuse left for you in this world.

2 - Exaggerate a little. For example, a day waiting for a cable car, in a long line with other tourists can be re-worked as "Once upon an urban terrain I await for my Rice-a-Roni sponsored transport among the sea of human hurdles..." I mean it doesn't exactly constitute as lying as making a plain story look at least interesting. Try it, your heightened sense of awareness will make you appreciate (or hate) every detail of life even more. Bottom line--you will talk about it and it will fill your page.

3 - Watch "Scrubs", "Six Feet Under", "Malcolm in the Middle", or any movies that have first-person-thought sequences. I just like it when you act out your thoughts inside your mind but not do it anyway, I really do. Makes me feel civilized. (otherwise, it's a deliberate attempt for writers to extend story time by using this ploy to develop their characters) So, how does this relate to blogging? See bottom line I mentioned in number 2...

4 - Meet the Dinosaur named Thesaurus. Most of us don't know that there's one creature that fed on scholarly, smart and indispensable words. And who would've thought that knowledge could save you from the possible extinction like this creature did. Food for brain...or whatever.

5 - Write at work. I know this may also be a bad idea, but it is bad because, first, you were suppose to be working; second, there's trade secrets involved; third, you can never say anything negative about the boss or the company to avoid getting the boot. Well, here's an idea -- if you can write only on your breaks, keep tabs of your company policies, practice work ethics, and for once be nice to everyone you'll probably pull this off. Trust me, writing is a good stress reliever, just make sure you do it right.

6 - Always name others in code. Of course, if you can't help writing about those antagonists in your life at least name them in codes or funky characters. This is what I learned in high school. Choose the name wisely and do not use palindromes. And also do not use a name your character closely resembled. If you can't, substitute a guy's name with a girl and vice-versa. Don't even give your friends a clue who you're talking about, try to be cryptic. Play the game. Be creative, you get the idea.

7 - Privacy is still another world we want to keep. This is interrelated with #6. I guess part of being a good blog is learning to ask permission and respect the privacy of others. You'll be well liked, even by your enemies who don't know any better in figuring out your codes.

8 - If you got proof show it. 'Nuff said. Picture taking is secondary but I do love taking photos and part of the reason why I started my blog on June 2004 was because "Hello" was already available.

So, again to my closet, blog-reading friends, who would rather tell me or email me that they visited my journal at least once, thank you. I'm thinking if a comment button was ever necessary...