The Illiterate Scam

I got this email from my co-worker who had probably amused himself immensely at a certain time before he thought of showing this to me.

Attn: (name mercifully erased by me)

I wish to plead with you to join me in not only serving humanity, but to also benefit in the process. This message could be strange but reality will definitely dawn on you. If you pay some attention to its contents. Please accept my sincere apologies in bringing this message to you; I have to say that I have no intention of causing you any personal pains or discomfort.

My name is Mrs. Loues Ejercito Estrada, wife of his Excellency Joseph Estrada, former President of the Phillipines. My husband was recently impeached from office by a backed uprising of mass demonstrations and the senate and my husband he is presently in jail. I realized some reasonable amount of money from various deals that I successfully executed, during my husband's regime as president of phillipines. The said amount is $28.7 million US dollars. From past experiences, many people I had regarded as close friends had capitalized on my family's travail to run away with our money. So I ask for your trust and confidence.

I need your assistance to act as my foreign partner, to allow me send the funds to you, and in return, would donate a portion of it (15%) as humanitarian gesture to those in need in my country and other war torn country by purchasing some essential needs like blankets, milk, food, drugs, creating shelter, water-pumping machines and agricultural equipments from the money after deducting your expenses and commission of 25% I shall give to you for assistance, and the rest 60% is for my family and you will assist us to invest it wisely in your country, under your watchful eyes. If you feel that we can trust you and that you are capable tohandle this large amount of money, let me know so that we may commence business.

In your response please state the following for easy communication.

Contact address

Telephone and Fax numbers

On getting a positive response from you, via my email address. I shall then introduce you to my lawyer who will liaise with you to further explanation and details that will help you understand the transaction, every necessary documentation will be made available to you.

I cannot be reached on phone because of the security around us but my lawyer will make sure everything goes on well, in that communication with me will be mostly via email:louistrada2211@yahoo.com.ph

Kindly treat as very urgent and strictly confidential. I honestly assure you that this transaction is 100% risk-free. Be assured that I am a reputable personality and I am mindful of the legal implications of this transaction, as I intend taking care of all the legal documentations for a successful and hitch-free transaction.

I look forward to your urgent reply.

Thank you for your expected co-operation.

Best regards

Mrs. Loues Ejercito Estrada.


Of course, this letter calls for intensive mediocre scrutiny. And I totally speak for myself on this.

Contrary to popular belief, we Pinoys have at least know how to communicate and use proper English, even in correspondence. We can understand the words "scam", "exploitation", "con" and "rat".

There is such a thing called research.

A Doctor can at least spell her name correctly, twice. And no that's not how her name is spelled.

That also means spelling the country correctly. Obviously, you haven't been around the country enough to get shot in the head. Next time when you watch a beauty pageant, don't just look at the bodies, look first at the written text slung over the body. You might learn something.

And why would anyone give money to a man who's in jail?...

Holy jeez, $28.7 million dollars! Can't you just give the whole amount to the people who need them (if not stolen from them). Like people from the Philippines...

100% risk-free. More like 100% money-free.

Wouldn't it be nice if this letter actually fools someone who used to be in power. Now that's karma.