Cheap Tickets "Do" Get You Somewhere

So, here I am, in off-season but still ripe sunset Hawaii where I enjoyed its final days of humidity. I was with my mom who invited me, firstly, when she snagged two free airfare and accommodations at the second rate Aston Beachside (I think it's a timeshare thing). But hey we can't complain after all since it's right in front of the Waikiki Beach.

As first timers we succumbed to the usual tourist trap and relied on our concierge's two-purpose recommendations that kept our schedule full. So, when you're in Oahu these are the activities that you might like to do, that is if you're a clueless tourist like us.

A Luau
There is more than one luau venue, and depending on which place you're staying in they'll toss in a name for you and you're on your way. We got Germaine's for free (again timeshare thing) with dinner, drinks, pois, programs and Polynesian dancing (very important). As a continuing windfall for my mom, she got second prize at their contest and her nth lei. I got us some alcohol but I finished it anyway since she preferred the unadulterated lavaflow. Imagine the buzzing...

Surfing
This is just an option. I'm such an adventure nut these days, so, what the heck, at least I tried something even once. On my first lesson I managed to stand on the board most of the time and only once I got wiped out and hit my foot on a rock. Paddling over to the wave was more painful for me than falling down.

Diamond Head
This was another painful trip to the top of the mountain. You hike stony paths, go inside a cave, climb up a steep stairs, climb up another spiral staircase, crawl out of a hole, climb another flight of stairs and then you're on the peak of the mountain, crowding with the rest of the tourists snapping pictures of the scenic view of Honolulu. Travel light, bring a big bottle of H20 and wear hike-y footwear (i earned a couple of blisters, nasty). But if vertigo and claustrophobia ain't your thing let's move on.

Hanauma Bay
This was by far my favorite spot. Since it is a preservation area every visitor had to watch a 'debriefing' before going out to the beach. The cove was thriving with coral and sealife, so, if bathing is your thing and have an animosity for rocks you may only swim for like the first five feet. I did not put my sunscreen for fear of poisoning the fishes, so, I got toasty for real. This was also my first time to try snorkeling; on my virgin attempt I got a little panicky. But when I saw my first fish -- a white one with yellow stripes -- I got so excited that I shouted and water filled my breathing tube.
It took a little time getting used to it but in the end I think I swam (not continuously) for two hours. The trickiest part of the swim is going through a patch of coral that is very close to the top surface of the water. I got slight panic attacks when I was surrounded by rocks because first, you cannot touch any part of the sea environment (except yourself, hah!), and second, the corals were so close you can almost kiss it, sea urchins and all, yuck. I think if you just float and remained as cool as a sea cucumber then it will be okay (as the joke goes, with fronds like these who needs anemones!) The other thing was I didn't even notice was I got too far when trying to explore the fishies; adrenaline does that to me. And I didn't even have a swim buddy which was totally required here. P.S. I secretly tried to follow lovers (hey, it's either that or juvenile boys, I took my pick) but no luck; when they're on to me I went on my own.
The largest fish I stalked was a fat pink swimmer that I thought I recognized at the dinner table one time; aha, so that's how they looked alive. As for other fishes I can only describe the pattern of their bodies by how they resembled objects -- an African flag, my grandma's brown polka dot dress, a guy's polo shirt, the flag of Belize, a summer polka dot dress and a banner at a Japanese noodle place. I suck at explaining, but the experience was totally indescribable.

ABC Stores
This is like Giordano in Hong Kong, or Starbucks, where you can see one store literally in every street block and I mean every 200 steps where you're walking from at any point in Waikiki. This might be the only situation where natives and visitors alike understood the joke. I wonder how each franchisee made a profit. As long as there's a need for macadamia and boogie boards they'll stay afloat, I guess.

North Shore
Waters here were rougher, that's how I understood it's surfing reputation. But when we went here I neither saw dudes nor a guy resembling Laird Hamilton. Maybe we're at the family side of the beach.

Familiar Tourists
It's just funny how we ended up meeting the same familiar tourists anywhere we go. We might as well call ourselves cousins.

The Cheescake Factory
I am not saying that you should go here but with so many mainland restaurants and fastfood chains that are here you can't resist tempting yourself to go back to those comfort foods you have once enjoyed (and if you do a slight computation they are much cheaper considering the tax difference from that of say, California). If you want hardcore Hawaiian cuisine go to a luau or another Hawaiian island. Heck I wished I tasted a gourmet spam dish.

Shopping Malls
If you're willing to throw in cash at those fine branded stores (while still thinking of the low tax charge vs. California tax) go ahead. This is your chance. You won't find a Ross here, though.

Watching the Sunset
Oh, yeah, there's no shortage of this. An added bonus is sleeping in peace under a coconut tree in front of the beach, which I did. Aahhhh, I feel like a bum.